Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize