just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
