When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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