Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize