Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize