Can Purell be used as lube?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
