No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So vagazzling was a success
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
