READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
