Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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