My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
