he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
