I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
