Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
