Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's not a walk of shame if you run
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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