I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
