it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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