false alarm. still invincible.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
