Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
