I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize