I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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