what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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