I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
