I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
