i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
