so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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