another moral hangover. fuck.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
