You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
