Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
