so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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