i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
