yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
