Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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