these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
