Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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