If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
