then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
