What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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