I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
