OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
