omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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