He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
