your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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