just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
