so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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