I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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