I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
