are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
