i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
