I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I understand Curling. That high.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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