I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
