You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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