road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
