oh god the rape fog is back!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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