Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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